CLOUDS, TIME, LIFE AND ALL THAT

I'm going to start this one a bit tacky here now, because I thought of this back when I was fifteen (when, you know, you easily tend to be rather dramatic and corny about things). So here we go: life is  like the clouds. Constantly moving, changing shape, without really noticing when or how it happens. You look up at a cloud, it has a certian shape and you follow it with your eyes. It is changing form in front of you but you can't see that. It is not until you look away for a while and then back that you may notice the cloud has taken on a totally different shape than before. It is like a whole different cloud. (It was a rather long time ago that I was fifteen though. Phew.)

Well, yes, in any case. Everything indeed changes and evolves (that is perhaps what time is all about, changes in- and layers on eternity) and sometimes things go so fast you that years just pass by and if you get a second to think about it, it will very likely become a 'whoah, how did we get here'-moment. And then it's WOOOM on again to the next one.

Changes are what life is made of. Something is always changing even when you think it's not, time goes on, trees grow bigger and people grow old. No matter how well thought out or planned something may be you never know how it will turn out as anything can come up along the way. Or it may go just like planned, but the outcome may still be something different than you though.  And so on, yada yada. I don't really believe in finding reasons why random things happen or in meant to be's, it's just something we have come up with to make the chaos that forms everything more understandable, and bearable. Stuff just happen. Some by itself and some you make happen.

I've been making some things happening lately. I quit the harbour late this spring. Which wasn't a big thing per se, as I had not been working there for three years, but I had remained employed there anyway. Now my time for parental time-off was up -in short, you getup to 9months off paid, and can then get an unpaid leave until the child turns three, when you are to return (unless you get another child before the 3 years date when it all starts over again. I always knew I wouldn't go back, but sometimes some parts of me miss that. By now I have forgotten how it felt to be out there no matter what weather (or time of the day. And year).

(Here's me in the harbour a long time ago, a shot from that German tv show with fine shots of the Baltic Sea that airs every now and then and always brings me lots of strange Facebook messages from strangers in various European languages. "hello, I saw you on tv. Bye")

Dag did indeed turn three this summer which is both totally strange and totally natural at the same time. (We're on a feelings-level here, as I do know that turning three when you have lived three years is what most would describe as "natural"). He just started attending play school (or play club, whatever you may call it, a few times a week) and he's talking and making jokes and all and soon he'll be going to school and wanting to use the car and then moving out. The way it goes.

See, here he's already flippin' me the bird:

(To his defence -or mine, it's my kid after all- he is actually showing us thumbs up from a very unfortunate angle.)

It feels very odd to think I at this point of the year could have had a baby of a few months already. As it didn't turn out that way, I fast forwarded some other plans instead. Now the baby-thought feels very distant, and, I'm perhaps a little relieved (that's the brain working I guess, creating reason and meant-to-be's again). You do get kind of comfortable with time, and it's like I've almost forgotten the baby time with Dag, how it felt and how 24/7 it was. Not that I remember it being that rough then, comfort wise, but thinking of it now feels like it would be an awful lot of work to go trough again. I mean I have a child that can go to the toilet by himself already. So easy nowadays! I of course know that if or when such a time will come again the brain will settle into that mode and it will be fine and great all over (and tiring and messy too of course).

You may have noticed I have been rather busy the last year and my blogging has been less frequent.
As I just said I'd quit my old job and that my son is starting to mind his own business a lot you may wonder what the hell I actually have been doing away from the internet.

A whole lot. One of my fasts forwards was starting to study to become a pilates instructor (classical, mat. Apparatus are not very common over here. Yet.). It's something I had thought of for many years, to perhaps do at some point, and then decided to really go for in 2016. But it then came to happen this year already. I started in January and hold one certificate now, but will still be continuing to study for a long time. More on that later.

But what I also have been working on is a thing I had dreamt of for years, but never really felt was realistic. (And soon we will see it if is or not, dum-de-dum) : My colleague and performance partner Ruska and I are opening up our own studio, the very first one dedicated to burlesque in Finland!

There has been classes here and there for years already, and we have thought many of those and kept a small studio ourselves for quite some time already, but now we are opening up and actual burlesque school, a studio that has burlesque as it's main thing and that is the first one over here. We will combine that with other classes under the same roof; yoga and pilates (Ruska is a yoga teacher) and stretching as well as other dance exercise. The name Studio Shangri-La comes from our duo performane The Ravishing Shangri-La Rubies and we have coached our own performing student troupes for two years under the name The Shangri-La School of Showgirls. (I linked our Facebook pages there. Do go and like them. All in Finnish, but don't let that stop you.)

I really had intended to blog about the process of fixing up our new space. "I will have so much to post about". And alas - I would have had, and did. But what I did not have was the actual time to do so. (Well you have seen some on instagram along the way, for those of you who hang around there.) In between waiting for contrucion guys who never came (and then came late and charged too much and so on) and painting and ordering things (and spending up a lot of hard earned cash) and planning and plotting summer just went by and here we are at the opening already. On Wednesday!
Eli sinne kaikki, dit allihopa eller hur!

Apart from that we are working on the Pin-Up competition and putting together a custom performance for the book launch of Sofi Oksanens new book. And then I'd really like to fix up some rooms in the farmhouse plus grow back all the kale that the lambs ate.

Well, this started with clouds and ended up in Shangri-La in something of a mish mash of a post.
So for now: studio studio studio. And buy classes!

Oh and also bangs or no bangs?
Oh the choices in life.

OCTOBER; 33, THE EIGHT YEAR AND THE SECOND ONE

Arrived home after a fabulous and work-filled weekend in Turku (of which you can see an ultra quick  fun time-lapse vide of on vimeo, by Tuomas) just in time to catch all the lovely colours of autumn - last year I missed it, as the leaves fell of quickly, and I was in Stockholm performing during those short days of excessive colour.

Dag and I had to go out on a mission immediately as some of the lams had decided the grass was greener on the other side of the fence rather literally, and for some reason also on the road. So we chased them back much to Dag's excitement. 

He is wearing a Mickey Mouse-coat that both me and my sisters have worn when we were kids, that we got from our cousins who were a few years older than us. There was one in about every size and this is the first one. Dag finds it very fancy.

Lambs trying to camouflage themselves.

Last weekend, on Saturday, it was also my 33th birthday. I rarely celebrate mine; last time was when K and I threw our very fabulous True Blood feast when we turned 30. Usually I have been at work on my birthdays as a grown up, first in the harbour (where one tended to spend the whole day as shifts are long), now on stage. This year was no different!

As those of you who have hanged around here for a longer time know, my blog also gets a year older along with me - so we are entering our eight year here now. That is a long time I tell you!
If someone ever wondered about the rather imbecile but catchy name of my blog it has been explained here on a few occasions back in the days but we can do it one more time; the idea of a blog was born way before it actuallystarted, when blogging looked a bit different that now. I had just found fashion blogs that consisted of outfits and outfits only, and I found them both inspiring and a bit silly at the same time. So The Freelancer's Fashion Blog was an ironic idea -  I have always had a big wardrobe, but from time to time (a lot like now) I haven't really been able to use it properly. Back then in 2006 and -07, when thinking about blogging, I had finished my studies and worked with freelance graphic design as well as in the harbour. So I was basically working most of the time (like now, but in a different matter) and felt that I mainly was wearing black tights or leggings (or underwear) and a black t-shirt or a top, when in front of my computer or under my workwear. What people who work from home often look like... And I thought about how that would make it in a fashion blog, different versions of something that looks just the same. Well, that blog never happened. When my blog then started it was all about drawithe outfits though and staying incognito -it took until March the next year until I posted a photo of myself - and as with most blogs this one slowly developed into something more personal.

This was that very first photo, from many years back.

Speaking of outfits, there is of course a reason why I have been walking around mainly in stretchy wear and sneaky yoga pants, other than the one that I am always running from workouts to rehearsals and classes nowadays- I got pregnant again! And unlike the pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage this summer, when I had felt strangely well when I thought back on it, I this time felt bad and swollen,  just like I had with Dag, feeling like I was hungover for two months. Until week seven was over I was a bit scared every time I went to the toilet that I would see blood, and was reliefed when I passed the weeks of the previous miscarriage. I had my first prenatal appointment and had all future ultras and appointments set now, as is the custom. But, even though I am lucky enough to get pregnant easily - so far always on the first try, I am apparently not as lucky after that. Last Friday, the day before my 33rd birthday, I had an ultra sound and found out I had had a so called missed abortion; the foetus had died a few weeks earlier. Well, I could almost see it right away - the baby in the monitor looked too small for it's weeks, although I kept thinking that perhaps they always grow miraculously just the week after this. But I moved my face from the screen to the doctor's face and saw he looked serious and then he told me he could not see a heart beat. As the first miscarriage came rather slowly I had time to let it sink in and it was an event that made me disappointed and frustrated, but this was totally different. I couldn't imagine it could go wrong a second time because everything had felt so normal!  Not now, not this one! I was rather shocked. Not just because of the loss of the  baby-to-be, but because of how much we already had planned with everything else around the fact we would have a baby in April; jobs, life, arrangements. It's because I was looking at maternity dresses onine already. I shouldn't have! Everything had been just right, damnit! But it wasn't.

I had a lot of things to take care of during that day, which was awful to go trough, and I skipped out on some because I was so tired and just wanted to lie in bed. My body still felt pregnant, swollen and nauseous, and I was distressed over the fact that it was not over totally yet, but I would still have to abort it during the week to come. The thought of the pain that might bring, and all the arrangements around that felt the worst for the moment. I would have to call lots of places and re-arrange meetings and cancel classes and tell them I had the flue or something because you don't tell people you lost a pregnancy. You could, but you don't, because they will get uncomfortable. Too much info, stick to the flue.

As Scandinavia is ruled by the Jante -law (the 'don't think you're any special'-one, which in cases like this translates to: don't think your pain is any worse than anyone else's), and as I've grown up in a society that looks down on self-pity (well, don't they all?) and go by the mentality that one should shut the fuck up and quit whining, I thought it was best to do so. And as everyone keeps telling you: it is very common and it happens a lot. So it is. I had a lot to do during the weekend too; had to perform and hold a workshop and first the thought of all that felt rather horrifying. But it actually helped to be busy and around people and kept my mind off the fact there was a little dead beginning of a human lying inside of me. On Monday I went to the hospital and got the pills to empty the womb and so today this second one was over with less physical pain than I had expected. (For the record, for those who might read this in a similar situation: they gave me Cytotec, which is what they use over here pretty much as the only option, a drug I have had once before -I presume- many years ago for a similar reason and that was a very painful experience. Well at least I was prepared for what the beginning of labour would feel like when the day that came. The almighty internet is also full of mainly horror stories on said drug, as you see I of course googled a lot waiting in horror for it to kick in, but let it be said here for those who have an interest in this: This time I was stocked up with strong painkillers and it was not all that bad, by evening the medicine had done it's job. So it worked for me.)

As I wrote about the first miscarriage I thought it would be strange not to mention this second one. And, as I said the last time, when you have some sort of situation going on, you google all you can find about it, and then you google some more. (I always search in three languages to get as much out of it as possible). You want to and need to read about it. There is always someone out there who feels better reading about things like this, because of how one can relate, even though this story here is not one of those miracle stories where there was still a living twin inside!  (which will only give you false hope, because you know, there seldom is).

But it is still a bit odd, how we are not really supposed to mention miscarriage, and are not supposed to feel bad about it either. It is something of a taboo. With a friend who was, and luckily still is, as many weeks pregnant as I was, we talked about how you usually feel your worst and weirdest in the beginning of pregnancy but you are not supposed to talk about it because things can go wrong , and then if they do go wrong and you feel terrible you can't talk about it either because no one knew about it and you know, it does happen all the time.

So, no use of dwelling on things one can not change! I have a lot of work and projects that I will concentrate on the rest of this year, and also on the wonderful little fella in the Mickey Mouse coat that I shall snuggle up!
And come the weekend, I will drink some wine, oh yes.

RED CROSS DONATION / THS FIRST WORL BAD CONCIOUSNESS

I deliberately choose to leave out discussions and any stronger opinions in here - I have enough of them in real life - and focus on blogging about the lighter, nicer and more inspirational things. Plus I really try to avoid too long texts too, for many reasons. However, blogging about a dress after a set of bad news  might work like neutralisation, calming it down, but mainly it makes me leave it be for another time.

My mind is often filled with so called first world guilt  - I get a bad consciousness for a lot of things, big and small: I feel I don't read as much as I would want to but then again spend too much on the internet, I'm probably not as ecologic in many everyday choices as I could be if I really tried, I don't have the time to visit my grandparents enough, to name a few, and even the thing in where I contribute to make at least a little difference (and that should also allow me to feel a bit better about myself - because in the end there are very few good deeds we do that in some ways are not also selfish); sponsoring the boy in India, is giving me a bad consciousness: I never have the time to write him any letters. Argh.  And then I, as many others, have issues with closets overflowing but still being in need of that one pair of perfect black heels... a fact that I remind myself of with a grin of emotional stress. (That being what the "first world club" is about, a sarcastic finger pointing at myself /ourselves I sometimes joke about- it's for heaven's sake not about "being smug about living in the first world," as one reader chose to see it. Well, the way a person reads certain things may say more about the person than the text itself...) Not saying that all of our issues and problems are totally unjustified; not all things in this world can be compared. Just because we don't have to walk ten kilometres to get water everyday or have to leave our families to work in another country to support them or beg on the streets doesn't mean we can't complain when the city decides to put down a bus line and our trip to work doubles in time. For example. But it's good to reflect about this every now and then, different lives, different situations, how most of us reading this blog have it good in many ways and on many levels. One would think everybody reflects on this, but I have met a lot of people in my life, and not everybody do, or, some see things very differently.

It's said that people are alike, everywhere. And it's true. But our lives can be very different. Many years ago I was on a long trip in a country far away and we were eating by a street hut in a small town. There were lots of street kids begging next to us, dragging our sleeves, before being hushed away by the hut keeper.  The situation made me feel bad, uncomfortable,  in different ways. One person among us said it was rude of the kids not to wait with their begging until after we were finished with our meals. Manners, you know, eh? That made me crazy. "Come on, you can't feed the whole country" they said. No of course not. And I was not there to to saving anyone, trying to go all Jesus handing out dollars as a, although on a student budget,  like a rich wordsaving westerner hippie, I was "just travelling". But isn't even one meal for one person is better than no meal at all?  Yes. Mother Amma, for example,  has said - as part of a longer quote-  that every person should be able to have at least one day, when she does not go to sleep hungry. Not everyone will have that day. And I just didn't buy that plate. When we were leaving a young man around the same age as I came to our tables and pointed at our plates, scraping what was left of the rice into a plastic bag in his hand. He had another bag with glue. And that's when it struck me, we differ, our lives,  there is no way I could ever really understand what his life was like. Not that you have travel half around the globe to realise this either, as I've seen later on elsewhere as well.  (Why didn't I buy that cup with small shabby apples from that old lady by the side of the road in a country not that far away from here, aaaaah! Beause I did not want apples just then? Well, this is sliding off topic, but I've thought about these occasions a lot.)

I've always believed that if you can help others if only a little bit you should, another thing you'd think (or, hope) most other people believe too. And by this I don't mean sharing linked articles on Facebook and then feeling like you've done your part of good in the world. In the case of charity, it's either (or both, given the opportunity) time or money. If you don't have the chance to give your time and do actual, concrete work, you can always support  a  cause in a monetary way. (Yes, somebody going to say the money does not go where it should, or that it prevents countries from doing things themselves, perhaps, but not in all cases. You can check up on any legit charity, to see how they are organised and how funds are used. Plus, especially with catastrophe funds, like the Red Cross' , helps is offered when a community, nation itself cannot take care of a situation, for example.)

I've supported a handful of charities monthly for about a decade. After Dag was born and I changed my work pattern my income decreased with some 70%, and I thought about what to do with the monthly monetary aid I had going out from my bank account, to cut them off. I decided to keep them, even though they now made up quit a big part of my income. I'm not writing this to collect any good karma-points from the internet, but just to tell that in the end - so far at least- it did not take that much to leave some things out and be able to keep up my donations. Of course my lifestyle is a bit different now, more affordable, spending more time at home, no daily work lunches out and so on, but that combined wuth with a little more planning (and a little more work) I have been able to manage keeping my support.

So, I managed to write a little novel here anyway, even though I intended to keep it short and in my usual matter cut some text away... longer but still brief texts about serious matters on the internet can easily come off a bit melodramatic, one of the reasons I prefer to leave them to elsewhere. (And because this is the internet someone is going to give me shit for something said here anyway.)

But, today, after my daily news intake seeing pictures of dead Syrian toddlers and reading a very depressing article bout the situation in the Central African Republic plus also the updates from closeguantanamo.org I thought I'd skip the apple-pie blogging. And post about my Red Cross fundraising box instead! (See, we got to the point here in the end.)

I had a similar box last year; I collected fifteen euros.
From one donor (me, I thought the zero was so sad).

My intentions here are not to make anyone feel bad or obliged, and certainly not to raise discussion, just to raise money. Think about it; if everyone who comes upon this post would donate one euro we would raise quite much.

You can donate from anywhere. Or, check out and choose to donate to your local Red Cross. For example.

BEFORE THE APPLE TREES WEEP

 Few things are prettier than blossoming trees in late spring; the amazing seemingly never-ending amount of sheer white, pink, yellow, lilac fluff reaching up to the skies. And they only ever bloom for such a short time before continuing their year-long cycle of change.

I can't help it, but ever since I was a teenager I've been getting this short desperate feeling of dark haunting angst at this time of year, that it will all be over soon and autumn is just around the corner.

But in a couple of days it passes and I start enjoying summer again!

(Which is always over in no time and then it's back to dark nights, wet shoes cold wind and winter jackets and Aaaaaaa damn it!...)

REALITY CHECK

(If you were live and kickin' in the 90's you'll remember this)



Sometimes I visit blogs where the person is presented in a so unbearably hip way I wonder how they manage to actually fucking breathe. (And I think "Oh Come On" but perhaps that's just because I can be a real asshole sometimes.) And I see others - mostly young and waiting for things to happen I guess - heedlessly swoon over certain blogs or persons on the internet. It is true some persons lives are more interesting and some lives more fabulous, but one thing about blogging is that you very much get to -and should- choose which side or which things you do show. Some choose to blog about certain things, some about other, some a little about everything. Some do it more some do it less personal. Of course one reason why I read and browse blogs is exactly for those pretty and inspirational pictures and details! And often also for laughs and eye rolling and quite much for that little peak in to someone's elses life, that's different from mine. Or perhaps even similar.



But what everyone should remember is that everybody out there does go to the toilet and gather up unwashed dishes at some point, nobody wakes up every day with a sexy bed hair fluff nor lives a life full of just rosy stuff, everyone has their issues although blogged images may tell a different story. (For example our home does of course not always look as sleek as in the pictures I post, it is most often messy. Sometimes it's a charming mess, mostly just terrible. And we all know what I look like at work :)



I'm not making a bigger than life point here, only saying that everyone should take it with a little hint of salt, and no one, no matter how pretentious one may be, should ever take oneself too seriously.



Well, you all go on and have a nice night now!

(I will enjoy my evening with a glass of red and some Puccini, yes. But by a messy table and with oh so un-attended hair.)

TIME

But of course, we do not really have all the time in the world. No one has.

I wish for more time to everything when there actually is no such thing as more time, you know, time is just here and now,it is really only about how you use your time... Referrals to Carpe Diem always feel so cliché and drives me mad from time to time, but it is true; and sometimes it gets too late for some things.

And while I was actually thinking of things in a bigger scale I thought we'd still bring it back down to the little internet here now: You only - or still, depends on how you prefer your glass of water- have one more day to take advantage of Olivia Rouge's discount as well as one more day to be able to try your luck on the mermaid pendant! Grab it before it's too late! I will announce the winner tomorrow evening. Evening in Eastern European Time that is.

But come to think of it, I suppose in our memories we do have all the time in the world. Like some moments are in this place that is forever, as are the persons in it.

Well yes anyway you all go on and have a nice and sunny Sunday & a lovely Mothers Day!

A TOUCH OF NEW LOOK OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

Well here's something you haven't heard me say before (ha-ha):
I have a new pair of shoes! Pretty ones!

I love the fact that they make my feet look rather tiny. Not that they are big to start with, but I still kind of like it if they happen to apepar tiny.

I also have a giant rose.


Pretty similar to the black beret-outfit I did some time ago, but by changing the skirt one gets a totally different feel. This is loosely inspired by the New Look. Perhaps what I would have worn if I'd have been me sixty years ago exactly. And lived in, well, Paris perhaps.

I somewhere read someone saying you can't dress 'vintagy' unless you wear actual vintage or in some cases well done repro, but I claim that's not true - it's in the over all style and the details that the look lies; not the actual products. For me at least. Here I'm just wearing plain high street. But of course I'm not trying to be accurate or re-create an exact look; I seldom do, I only dress inspired by what I like.



The blouse is H&M (still haven't removed the zipper...), Skirt Zara, shoes from Next and betl from vivien of Holloway. The giant rose in made by Frollein von Sofa and the little beret is, as most of you know, by Molla Mills.

IMPROVEMENTS

I've never been much for New Year's promises. I mean, come on.
But, I have however tried it with improvements. Improvements of things I've noticed I don't handle in the most ideal way in daily life. I've however tried improving the same things two years in a row and both times it has gone horribly wrong; I'm even worse than before...

This year I'm going to try and read more.
I have a small pile of books on my bedside table that has been there forever. I should just leave the damn computer and internet alone (sorry guys...)!


I have heaps of books waiting for me as I keep on buying them in a different pace than I actually read them. Goddamit! I also put loads of books on my shelf when packing down my grandparents hundreds of books in boxes for storage in the basement. So many pages, so many words and letters, so little time...


Another thing to improve is the one that I've failed the past years: organize my papers better, instead of giving the pile a go only once a month (if even that). Oh my I am so terribly bad at that, and believe me - I have lots of papers; the regular ones all household gather, my own companies and then the Itty Bitty's company matters. I'd need an assistans (who will work for free and still not screw me over). That improvement would also result in a much more nicer study one could actually spend time in, ahem.


Last but not least I should try to stick to another thing I wanted to start last year already (but did not manage to do, mostly thanks to Teh Internet...); a moment of self pampering each night! Now, you may think that I'd actually do that all the time, yes, in some matters,daily basic stuff like toothbrushing and hair brushing of course (and the occasional cabbage-do :) - but in the end not that much. I was thinking things like a foot bath, some stretching, a scrub, a calm moment. Something small just a few minutes per evening. Lat year I planned that I'd put fifteen minutes on papers and tidying up per night, and fifteen minutes to myself with something nice.
Well, didn't work out.

Let's see if I'll be better (to myself actually) this year then!

A YEAR IN THE LIFE OF

2011. So, last year is over and this one has begun. Time goes by so fast.
But on the other hand, some things that happened only a short while ago feel like it could have been years since. The days get this strange blue, thin layer of nostalgia over them, and happenings are transferred to this space where time has no meaning - last month, last year, ten years ago. Sometimes it feels like forever, sometimes like just now, sometimes the amount of time does not matter, except for that it is all something that already was.

Well, I guess those are just called memories. Perhaps you know what I mean.


Blogs form this ever changing media in the sense that what you publish is only directly available for a short time; the faster you post the faster old posts disappear to the archives. And while some old posts are viewed over and over again via different sources others will remain unread.

So I thought I'd have kind of a similar diggin-in-the-archives-competition or shall we say give away to the one I did last year, when I asked you to name your favourite post ever on The Freelancer's Fashion Blog.(Surprisingly many thought the best one was written during December 2009, which of course is great as that would mean I just get better by time...or then just that it's not interesting enough or to much bother scrolling back a bit. Heh:)

But anyway, this time it goes like this:
Name or link to your favorite post from 2010 by leaving me a comment.

Just like last year, when Prefecta won the mirror necklace, you will be able to win a surprise gift, something small and pretty.

The competition will be open for about a week or so and you can of course enter from where-ever in the world you are, but do leave me your email if you don't have a blog or page to link to.
Happy New Year!

SUNSHINE AND BIRDSONG

You know, sometimes some of the tiniest things in life are the best ones - those you may only be reminded of when you are actually enjoying them, or those small details you long for when you are far away from them.

Sitting by my window in the soft evening sunshine (yes, we have sunshine in the evenings up here :), letting the warm summer air in, listening to the birds twitter is one of those. Just amazing actually, after a long and cold winter, afer a hectic day.

The weather is spectacularly warm this week; warmer than usual. Helsinki really blooms up and is much more great on days like these. Reminds me of the fact that there actually are places where you wake up to warm and sunny mornings all the time, almost, and to the fact that it is very possible to live at such places too...

But for the time being I will most likely stay here, and take the cold when it returns. Especially with all that's to come soon: the Move. This week will be spent in the flat-to-be, preparing for the renovation. THe downside with great weather is the fat that you feel frustrated and kind of guilty if spendfing your days indoors. But I'll keep the balcony door open an let the bird twitter and sunshine in.

And for other moments when twittering cannot be heard, I'll listen to this song:

ANSWERS AND ANSWERS vol.2

Little Brooklyn's King Kong at HBF09 (Photo Rik Stavale). One of the most creative burlesque performances I've seen. You can youtube google it. It has nothing to do with the text below but so what, it's always nicer with some pictures ain't it?

Well, anyway; thank you for all the nice coments on my previous post. As I now read my text afterwards I see it may sound a little defensive, which it wasn't ment to be, since no one should have to defend their style; it was rather just thoughs - and some minor ranting perhaps- in general. And neither am I offended of what people may say on the internet when it comes to issues like that, even though I might raise an eyebrow or two and wonder what the hell is wrong with people... But thanks anyway! You are all so nice.

And then it's time for the answers to the rest of the questions:
Where you've taken your tattos and are all of them your own design?
- I've taken most of them at Legacy Tattoo and those are made by Sailor Andy.. I've designed all of them myself, some are my exact drawing line by line while others are slightly modified to suit the skin better. My meraid is hand made (with a bamboo stick) in Thailand.That's also the one that looks the least like my drawing...

What are the names of your cats? They are gorgeous! I love cats and pics about those two makes my day.
- Pekka and Lulu! Pekka is the fat one and Lulu is the tiny one. They're brother and sister. I'll make your day somaday soon again and put some more cat pics then:)

Do you have any brothers or sisters? Do they look like you?
- I have two younger sisters, 25 and 22 years old. We all look pretty different. The older of them works in the harbour with me and a some people there think we look the same and mix us up. (Like a stevedor guy she once dated. It was cold and we wore wearing caps outside. He drove up to me and said "I haven't heard from you laely but I guess that's ok since you haven't heard from me either" I looked up and told him he should propably talk directly to her. He kept his calm and said that yeah, he will, drove away. And then he avoided me for some weeks afterwards :D)

Are you that blond by nature and what hair products do you use?
- No, not this blond. RIght now I'm not sure what my real colour would be. It was quite chocolate brown when I was small, then went lighter into a, now that I think about it, rather nice toffee-like colour. I had a spiral perm for years which dried my hair out and turned real light in summer, so I started bleaching it due to that, as it grew out darker in fall and looked bleached anyway :) I use silver schampoo and conditioner every now and then, otherwise a lot of salon products for chemically treated hair. I have a lot of hair and it's all dry so a bottle of conditioner or leav-in blam doesn't last long.

I don't have a question but a request, would you like to post some pictures of your wardrobe?
- I was actually asked to do so by a fashionsite, to participate in their article series about wardrobes last year but didn't have the time. I might do so later this autumn perhaps!

The same request to post a picture with your boyfriend, but I would totally understand if you don't want it.
- Well something might show up here at some point...

More pics: 2 in 1! Brilliant.

A SLAVE TO THE DETAILS

Sometimes I stumble across things written about me on the internet. Most of them are really nice but some tend to think that it's a little bit too much with all the dresses, tattoos and hair done and so on. Lately some small birds told me about this thread on the internet where someone was listing vintage inspired style blogs she liked and I was among those mentioned. As most often most of the comments were positive even though many tended to "worry" about the effort being put into the looks of the girls in the blogs mentioned. Some on the other hand found the effort to be just too much or overdone.

I started thinking about the whole effort thing and find it a bit funny because first of all, dressing up and getting dolled up for me is one part routine that I don't even think about and the other part just fun, kind of like a hobby. And doesn't really all girls, and boys alike, who are keen on looking nice make the same effort but in different ways? Is there really such a huge difference if I pin curl my hair the night before than if I'd go to get a spray tan?

But on the other hand, I am the kid of girl who will schedule my day according to how my hair needs to be washed, dried and rolled if I have to, who will spend days on the internet to find the umbrella that's just right and pay a small fortune to have it home delivered (OK, that's already a bit over the top I admit but that's another story) and dress up in the whole shabadang with girdles, stockings and the prettiest dress for a Sunday walk, just for the joy of it. That's who I am and I like being that way! I like making efforts. Plus let's face it, no matter how glorious ones life is, it's not like one is invited to parties every day. But that doesn't still mean you couldn't dress up on a regular monday. I'm not saying life is one big celebration, because it's not, and that we should all hold hands now and sing Kumbaya in pretty dresses - I just think it's makes any hard or easy day a bit better if you look nice. Well, in some ways at least.

Anyway, last weekend I did go to a party however and then it's nice to roll that hair even a little bit more than normally and get glammed up. This time in my dress that Olivia Rouge made and in a mini beret from Molla Mills that I got from Paula to cheer me up last spring when I was sad.

And my vintage checked jacket. I can't believe I was thinking of selling this jacket away! It matches my shoes for heaven's sake! (And I'm not the only slave to the details out there, many others do notice it too :)

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

I'm not really an arrogant A hole. But I am rather unorganized. And very busy.
I tend to forget to answer questions I get in my comments. Sometimes it can take me a long time to answer blog related mails written to me too.

So I thought I'd do this thing were you can ask me anything and I will answer almost everything!

This is my sneaky-suspicious look when I say, ok, go ahead and ask then.

I'll answer a couple of questions/requests I remember now straight away
1. Make up
I get lots of questions about makeup. But the thing is, I will never do a makeup tutorial - there are tons of youtube tutorials out there that go for the same look and they're all pretty much similar to each other. I do the same make up almost every day, just make it heavier and add some glitter for shows. And in the end you still have to see what suits your own face the best.

But I will do a post about makeup; which products I use and some tricks I rely on, that I promise!

2. Photos
"I'm always curious about whether you take all your own photos and how you always manage to get the lighting so spot on? "
Well, first of all I have a pretty good camera. Not a great one, but an OK that can take great pics if you do it right. If there's not time nor good light for getting it right, I fix the photos in Photoshop afterwards, Levels, Curves etc. Basically there's nothing I can't do in Photoshop, although I prefer to get away as easily as possible. (Well as you can see the photo above has some more playing around than just levels and curves - sometimes that's real fun too - especially if you should be working with something different than making yourself look all 1939 for example :) I indulge quite a lot what I like to call "forced photography" -heheh- as I have my sister or a friend take some pics for my blog ("You have to take some pictures for my blog now!"), but I do take many of them on my own too.

That's it. If you post a question here during the weekend and perhaps the beginning of next week too I promise I'll answer them all by next weekend in a post!

Oh, and if you come here a lot and react a lot and I have forgotten to link you let me know!

PALE BLUE NIGHTS, PALE BLUE TUNES

Chet Baker.
Maybe the finest heroin addict ever (and my favorite interpreter of this song):



Every spring I get as surprised by how light it is at very late and early hours(as I on the other hand always tend forget the darkness that comes with autumn). Lately I've woken up to work at five-something and the sun is already shining from a bright blue sky! Later I'm enjoying the pale blue May evenings by walking around the wooden houses and huge stone buildings with their massive courtyards in the next part of town, admiring the evening light, listening to Chet Baker and thinking of things, being able to relate to every word in every song. Well, except for My Funny Valentine perhaps.

SOME MINOR WORDS OF WISDOM

Because you know, a small little set of of lovehandles is just fore the better.
More to love baby!



And now it's time for me to take a short break from everything; work like hell for a couple of days and also try to figure some things out. I'll be back soon with this promised tutorial and I might get on with some tags I've received too. Have fun until then ok!

A STYLISH COINCIDENCE

You know why you should always do the "what are you going to wear"-call to your friends before going out?

This is why.
As many things are often about details, wearing the same detail as someone else - even though otherwise dressed rather neutrally - may cause those two people's outfits to look like twins. Nobody pays any attention to the fact that two girls are both dressed all in black, but two girls in black with black-and-white checked shoes may already raise an eyebrow or two...
Well, her shoes are gingham and mine are pepita so that only makes our outfit cousins.
And in the end, we didn't think about it for long because so what.*


Somtimes the way we see similarity, when it come to dressing, can be a bit funny. For example, some people dressed all in black won't really catch your eye (ok, unless they are all victorian goth,death metal fans or so but that's not what I ment), but the same crowd all in red, or say, blue from head to toe will. Actually any other colour than black would certainly be noticed (this of course is not only related to the way we react to clothing but to colours aswell and certainly varies a bit from place to place). Then there's also the aspect of feeling that people following a certain style, different from one's own, tend to look reather alike. (I can only imagine: "You know those girls that like old movies, fleamarkets and stuff and dresses like my grandmother? They all look the same in their skirts, red lips and rolled hair..." :) The way we tend to look at others is an interesting topic but as I always try to keep myself short, I'll just leave it to this.

*) Back in the days on an extempore trip abroad (=no luggage) with J we wanted to go to the baths and did some rapid swimsuit shopping. We found bikinis and retro-cut swim shorts in the wame pattern and the idea of matching gear was hilarious in our hungover minds until we met at the pool. Then it was just really really lame. And we were concious about that for most of the stay.


Pssst. Thank you all for the comments on my previous posts and sorry if I'm not always too quick anwering them...